Life isn’t fair. It just isn’t. Sometimes we make choices that bitch slap us after the fact and then we have to live with those choices (and that darn sting from the slap!).
I’ve been in such a slump lately and I can’t seem to work myself out of it. I feel like I’ve made some poor choices in my life because I haven’t listened to my own heart. My intuition has spoken to me for years but I’ve ignored it. The decisions I’ve made aren’t necessarily good or bad, they just haven’t been what my heart truly longs for or desires.
The result?
Humble pie.
Some of my decisions have been so humbling that I’m still working on sorting through them and looking for answers. How did I get here? What does my future hold? How can I possibly be 42 and still not know what my purpose in life is?
I’m a giver and a nurturer so I thought doing the right thing meant always taking care of other people but I think somewhere in there I quit taking care of myself.
Not only did I give so much that I drained myself physically but I made decisions for other people or based on what I thought other people’s needs were that have ultimately left me wondering “what about me?”
This last year has been a year of loss, heartache and tragedy for me. I’ve been humbled by my decisions that have left me feeling empty in many ways. Although I’ve been blessed to be there for people in ways I can’t describe, I have discovered that there really needs to be a balance between giving and making myself happy.
I don’t know what my future will hold. At the least, I hope that I am physically able to recover some of the energy I have drained myself of. I am working toward this now and I’d love to share what I’m doing and keep you apprised of my journey so maybe something will help you too.
First, you must decide
You have to make the decision you want to move forward. You have to decide and KNOW you are worth it. You are worth doing something for yourself because if YOU aren’t healthy and happy and you run yourself down you won’t be able to be there for others. I know you’ve heard this a thousand times before but it’s true. You really do need to take care of YOU.
Simplify
I’ve spent a lot of time lately purging and then purging some more. I’ve gone through the garage and got rid of “things”. I’ve gone through the house and got rid of more things. I’ve gotten into the practice of picking something up and asking myself if it truly brings me joy. If it doesn’t, it goes. Having less clutter around has been healing. Having more space in my house has given me more space in my life and therefore my heart.
I highly suggest you try it. Start with one room, or even one space in one room. You won’t believe how amazing it feels to have only the items you love and cherish in your “space”.
I’ve also been better about WHO I let into my space. Negativity is draining and I’ve found myself backing off of relationships and people that drain me. I just don’t have the room in my soul for constant negativity right now.
Exercise
This could be a yoga class or an hour at the gym. It could even be a ten minute at home workout – just do something to get your blood moving and your endorphins lifted.
Simple as that.
Nature
There is nothing better for connecting with yourself or God than spending some time in nature. Even if all you do is go on a 20 minute walk you will come back feeling refreshed and rejuvenated. Even if I can’t get out to do an activity I love like rock climbing or something that requires a long day, I almost always get my dogs out to the nearby open space for a walk and I never regret it. I’m always amazed at the things that pop into my mind during those 20 minutes of peace and inward thought.
Eat Healthy Food
Whatever you do try to eat as nourishing as you can. You have only one body and if you are feeding it crap, you are going to feel like crap. If you are already fighting with lack of energy and you aren’t providing your body with nourishing food then you aren’t doing yourself justice and you’re going to have a difficult time healing your body.
Get Creative
I love getting creative when I’m sad, stressed or frustrated. I tend to drown myself in working on my websites so I can focus on being creative and forget the world. I also love to learn so you’ll often find me buried in trainings, schooling, books, etc.
I’ve recently taken up working on a project building a camp box for our mini van. Since I love the outdoors so much and I love to go on adventures, I figured what better way to do this with ease than to build something that will make things simpler for those times I just want to take off. Not only has this been a creative and learning outlet for me, I’ve been fortunate to have had the help of a new friend who has been fun to hang out and connect with, which leads me to my last suggestion.
Get Connected
Connect with people who know YOU and appreciate you for who you are. There’s something freeing about being yourself. It’s exhausting being someone you are not and when someone knows the genuine you, you have the ability to make a connection that is real and profound. To me, anything else is a waste of time.
